Earl is still annoyed by Billie. She ruins television shows, she eats Saltines in bed, she insists on always driving even though she has road rage, and she’s constantly reminding Earl that she is funding their life through her insurance settlement, since Earl is now broke. And to top it all off, she makes Randy sleep outside on the balcony. While Billie’s in the shower singing off-key John Denver, Earl tells Randy that he can’t figure out why karma brought him together with Billie as a reward, and now Billie is driving him insane. Earl adds that he can’t let Billie go back to her pre-coma life either, because she was a mess. Earl just can’t figure out why his life isn’t like his Fantasy TV Life was. Billie comes out of the shower and declares, “There’s nothing like a crap in a shower to make you feel better.” Oh, Alyssa Milano. You have come so far since Who’s the Boss. Remember when you used to tap dance with Tony Danza? Those were my favorite episodes.

Billie continues to browbeat Earl, so he goes to see Darnell for advice. He enters Darnell and Joy’s sideways trailer, reminding us that it’s Earl’s fault that the trailer is on its side. Darnell advises Earl to do what he does; he writes down everything Joy does to annoy him in a notebook and hides it under the couch cushion. Joy comes home and complains that she has so many bruises from crawling through the sideways door that she looks like “a woman in a Lifetime movie.” Joy grabs one of Darnell’s “poetry notebooks” and reads a story about a time she threw chicken on the lawn. Earl and Darnell brace themselves for the onslaught, but Joy doesn’t catch on that it’s about her, and then complains that the poem doesn’t even rhyme. Darnell asks Earl if he peed a little, and it turns out they both did. Joy is really scary.

Billie eats a Klondike bar. Randy asks for one, and in order to earn it, Billie makes him dress up like a Girl Scout and sell cookies to the people working in the sweatshop in a nearby motel room, and then stand on the street holding a sign that says “Bet You Can’t Hit Me With Your Trash.” It’s a bad bet; most people do manage to hit Randy with their trash. At least she really does give him the Klondike bar in the end.

Randy and Earl go to visit Kenny and Stuart, who are a full-blown couple. And if they lived in California, they could get married now! Have they ever said what state Camden County is in? I’m thinking they purposely leave it vague, like Springfield on The Simpsons. Anyway, Kenny and Stuart’s advice on a happy relationship involves a lot of calling each other “lover” and plenty of foreplay. Earl and Randy try not to be grossed out when the two men start making out. Who knew Camden was so progressive that two dudes could make out in the local diner without being bothered?

Earl decides to try their advice with Billie that night, and his tender words convince Billie to…I’m going to guess stick a finger in his cornhole? Obviously, they don’t say specifically, but based on Earl’s reaction, there was definitely some poking going on.

Earl decides to go talk to his parents about making marriage work. His mom starts in with the foreplay and calling each other lover, but Earl cuts her off and asks to talk to his dad. Turns out his dad is staying late at work. After getting into an argument with his mom over picking fabric for new drapes, Earl realizes that his father has always purposely “stayed late at work” to get out of the family stuff he didn’t want to do. As “I Know A Little” by Skynyrd plays, we see some of the family stuff that Mr. Hickey skipped out on: eating crickets as part of Chinese food night, dressing all in white for a family portrait, and going Christmas caroling. I once again have to give props to whoever cast young Earl because that kid could not look more like Jason Lee if he were Jason Lee’s son. And Jason Lee’s actual son, Pilot Inspektor (that is a dude’s name, right?) isn’t old enough to play the part. Anyway, Earl realizes that his dad’s secret method of keeping his marriage alive is staying too busy at work to be around his mother much. I can’t argue; I think having a big enough house so that we can each retreat to our own space when needed has kept my marriage alive. Other couples I know swear by two Tivos, or two bathrooms, or his and hers closets. Everyone just needs a little space.

Earl doesn’t have a job, but he does have The List, so he hangs out at the Crab Shack with Randy to decide what to do next. Joy stomps in and yells at Earl to immediately fix her trailer, because the ceiling (now wall) fan cut off her pigtail. Earl can’t help because Billie has tightened the purse strings so he can’t hire a crane. Earl doesn’t understand why karma is forcing him to stay away from his wife and saddling him with his ex-wife, but then he realizes that, due to his actions, he has a lot of people who owe him a favor.

Earl rounds up just about everyone he’s ever helped with his list to help him right Joy and Darnell’s trailer. After some heaving and ho-ing (to the tune of “If the House is A-Rocking”), the trailer is back in place, and Earl tells everyone to help themselves to the kegs he bought (with what money?). Everyone has a great time…that is, until Billie calls Earl. She wants him to pick up some food on the way home, and Earl pretends he’s too busy to come home.

Randy finds a leg on the ground where the trailer used to be. Joy thinks it’s terrible that some folks won’t give their grandparents a proper burial. Earl realizes that it’s a fake leg, and it belongs to Dee Dee. He ditched it under the trailer after stealing her car. Earl can’t figure out why karma keeps sending him to one nightmare woman after another. Randy: “Sometimes I wish karma could talk. That’d take a lot of the guesswork out of what we do.” Yeah, but then there wouldn’t be a show, right?

Earl decides to visit Dee Dee at work, since she’d be less likely to have her shotgun there. Dee Dee starts whipping donuts at Earl, and then tells him that she doesn’t need him to get her car back, and just getting her leg back isn’t enough to make up for what he did. She wants Earl to spend some time hopping around on one leg to see what it’s been like for her. James Brown’s “Get on the Good Foot” starts playing as Earl hops around town and tries to carry groceries, cross the street, buy a full pair of shoes when he’s only going to wear one, and carry beers across the floor of the Crab Shack when his hopping causes all of the beer to slosh out, and then he slips and falls. After a day or so of hopping, Dee Dee decides that Earl gets the message, and she forgives him and tells him to cross her off The List.

Earl returns to the motel, and Billie is weirdly kind and sweet. She gives Earl an ATM card so he doesn’t have to ask her for money anymore. Randy thinks that when Earl makes it up to some random woman he wronged, Billie is nicer to him as a balance. Earl wants to test the theory, so he reminds Catalina that he was mean to her when he was being Bad Earl before his coma. Catalina pokes him in the stomach with her broom and says that they’re even. Just then, Billie comes in with vending machine snacks for Earl and Randy both. Earl decides that he’s had bad marriage because he deserved them, since he was horrible to women. But now if he can make up for them, his marriage will continue to improve. Earl decides he needs to make up for the worst thing he’s ever done to women: “#204. Seduced seven virgins.”

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